You start high school, dammit, and you are really excited about everything. You are in the math class, you really like the first subjects but it is getting harder and harder. So you are sitting on the chair while the teacher is explaining today’s subject, you do not have any clue what is really happening on the board right now. You are confused and everything mixed up… What is going on? Well, that happens sometimes you know… “Do you have any question ?”, the teacher asks. Everyone seems really satisfied, even your friend Alice is taking notes and looking very smart. What are you going to do now? Should you ask any questions? Are you going to say a word? What if everybody thinks that you are dumb? You are a moron, how could you not understand that? Hell no, you will not say a word. This class will pass just like yesterday’s class and you will not say anything, you’d rather die than looking dumb. When the year is over, you will decide that math is really too hard for you, and you are not that smart.
Guess what? You are WRONG, you know.
We all have that little sneaky friend, self-doubt, with us. Lucky ones are with it sometimes, but the others are with it almost all the times. I’ve lived a really long period of my young adult life by self-doubt, and recently, thanks to god, I am not in the same bad condition as I was. I worked hard, but my inner voice never stops saying, “You are not good enough and you will never be” about anything. I worked harder to shut it up, but the voice got louder.
It is not a bad thing to have that inner voice for sure, because it helps you to improve yourself. But if you have it with you all the time, you need to find a way out. Because you have one life and need to enjoy the journey, instead of killing yourself thinking about your doubts. Here is my way out plan, hope it will help you too.
Seriously focus on your Self-care
I am not talking about doing makeup, caring about your skin or body, I am talking about your inner self-care, caring your soul. The inner voice mostly speaks with you when you are insecure or when you have doubts. At those times, you need a little support, so you need to find a way to relax yourself to stop your inner voice.
Think about your best friend, she has a really big fear of failing the test even she studied really hard, or she was at the same conditions as you, she wants to talk with you.
What will you say to her? Are you mad at her because she has the fear? Are you going to talk with her, with your inner voice, like you do to yourself? Are you going to say to her that she will be miserable?
Of course not, because you are a good friend. You want to relax her, want to convince her that it will be alright because you know that she worked for it.
Why don’t you do talk to yourself with that same kindness? What happens if someone else talks with you with the same attitude of your inner voice? Well, nothing good I can say.
When you have those feelings and talks, just realize that you are a human, and you do not deserve those words. Your inner voice needs to talk with you like you are talking with your best friend. So tell your inner voice that, or learn how to tell it to yourself.
With this way, you will learn to love yourself, like you love your friends and family, because you only have yourself so don’t be that harsh.
Sometimes other people have bad times, they may be tired, they cannot always talk to you like you want to, and they might be angrier than they normally are.
At that times, conversations can get weird, so stop thinking about it at the middle of the night to figure out why he/she said that way. (This is a note to me as well.)
Focus and Dream about the Bigger picture
Just think about the Super Mario. Mario wants to save the princess from that evil creature. Even he has a really adventures road on his way, he never give up. He fails, he dies sometimes, but turns back and eventually saves the princess.
If you want to reach your dream, you need to overcome the problems on your road, so dream about the bigger dreams. Do not complain. Do not find excuses. Just remember why you need to do it, and do it.
I really recommend you to learn about the “Ikigai” concept, to enhance your work, and enjoy the small parts of the process while working for the bigger idea.
When you do the work, you will stop finding excuses, and inner voice will shut up.
Remind yourself How Awesome You are
Every morning, look at the mirror after washing your face or wearing your clothes.
Remember what have you done so far.
Remember your coolest moment.
Remember how awesome you are.
Look at the mirror and love your body because it is always with you at your hard times and the good.
Look at the mirror and love your face, because it was there always for you.
Plan what are you going to do that day.
Write them, and complete them.